i had the greatest dream of my life while i was camping in california.

i was at the stefani household for christmas but gwen was like a moody teenager and the house was like part faux wood paneling part wide open spaces and i had presents for everyone but i didn’t know what they were but then they opened them and they were action figures of new wave bands. i’m so thoughtful :-)

Oh god I had this awful nightmare that my cinema professor e-mailed and was like “you never wrote your final essay or made your final project you have 2 hours ps the essay topic is ‘ME AKA EMMY WINNER GEOFF PINGREE’”

and I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuck so i just filmed my family doing stupid shit and just slapped it together with “eternal flame” and turned it in then tweeted about geoff pingree took a screencap and sent it too

I’m in the woods with some other people (my brother and my mom maybe? I don’t remember) and we’re at these ruins of an old monastery, that mostly consist of flights of stairs leading up to a hallway. We’re walking up the stairs because we decide they’re stable, when a belligerent deer appears. Actually I was a lot bigger than a normal deer wand its fur was a lot thicker and curly. Anyway it’s really aggressive so we keep going up the stairs to get away from it and then there are people living in the rooms at the top, but nobody else notices them.

All I remember is that I was at some sort of conference and their was a vending machine selling wes craven power rangers t-shirts and this lady tried to steal mine.

I’ve committed some crime and so has this other guy whose identity I don’t remember, and the police are shooting at us and we’re trying to get up this fire escape onto the roof because we left our tropical smoothie cafe smoothies up there. The other guy gets shot (worth it?) and dies, and I get arrested and then I type my memoirs on a typewriter in jail. “I WOULD DO IT ALL AGAIN,” I write.

• There’s a couple who just got married who are talking about how they want to go to this beachfront amusement park in Maryland for their honeymoon but then the wife decides it gets too dicey after dark. So then I am weirdly on the beach by this amusement park and everyone is building sandmen like snowmen and throwing sand balls at each other and basically treating it like snow. There’s these people with this big catapult launching huge amounts of sand at people, and they keep aiming at me and I keep running away but then they hit me and it’s actually snow.
• I’m at Oberlin (in Wilder Bowl) and there’s some kind of awful concert scenario going on and I’m with all the geology majors and weirdly also Carlo Cruz and everyone’s drunk and high and then Alex Yorke weirdly has MDMA that he is giving out to everyone so I take some but then it doesn’t really do anything and I wake up.

So Max’s brother (Daniel) and Paul both come to visit at the same time and both of us forgot to tell each other and there’s no room on our floor for both of them, so it’s a big issue, but Daniel is way more upset than necessary. We decide to go to Cedar Point, which is conveniently connected to Oberlin, but the whole time Daniel is just being really pissy and everything is just SO MUCH MORE STRESSFUL THAN NECESSARY 

I’m driving in Centerville by 48 & Alex-Bell and this middle-aged business guy / pedestrian runs in front of my car and I almost hit him but then he acts like he knows me so I’m like “uhhhhhh” and he asks if there’s any good places for lunch around here? And so i tell him there’s a great german take-out place (????????) and I take him there and we go in and then he rejects it (ugh what a snob) and leaves so I go to this Japanese place on the floor below the German place but the menu is written in Japanese so I don’t know what to order. I vaguely know the person working there so I could just ask but that doesn’t occur to me and I leave.

I’m drivin’ down the road, minding my own business, when I see something in the middle of the road. IT’S A CAT! I swerve around it but the semi-truck behind me hits and kills it. Suddenly, there are cats EVERYWHERE and it’s too stressful and I wake up.

I’m back in high school, and I’m taking a class called “Queens of Silent Cinema,” which sounds like an awesome class and I wish it was real. My class is pretty much composed of girls from my high school, the only one of which I remember is Poornima. When I walk into the room, they’re all holding plastic guns and pretend to shoot me.